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Esmeray (bwastat Kimberly French)

muqadima


"anaa 'urfidk bisifati rafiqi."

hadath kula shay' bsret kabirat watadararat bshdt min kuli eatifat earafaha al'iinsan walwahsh. kanat aldumue tanhamir ealaa wajhiin walam 'astatie altnfs. bialnazar fi eayni alshakhs aldhy kan min almftrd 'an yuhabani libaqiat hayatiin , lm yaseni 'illa 'an 'atasa'al ma hu alkhata aldhy hadath maei. rufaqa' , biaikhtisar rufaqa' alruwh , hum al'ashkhas aldhyn aikhtarathum alihat alqamar likuli mustadhib. lisu' alhazi , laqad rafadatani lltw , walusu' alhazi , kanat halat alrafd nadiratan lilghayati.

yakbur kl jarw yataealam alrafd al'awla. 'iinaha nadirat jdana , lidarajat 'ana alshakhs aldhy tama rafdih qad tama althana' ealayh litasmimih ealaa almudii qdmana min hizn alqulbi. laqad saeid hdha alshakhs 'iilaa alsultat wawajad alhabu maratan 'ukhraa , walakun mundh dhlk alhin lm yakun hunak siwaa hwaly khmst halat rafad musajilat fi sijillat tarikhna. kan akhar rafad maeruf mundh hwaly eshryn eamana 'aw nahw dhlk , wala ahd yaerif hqana ma hadath litilk aldhiyaab 'aw ma 'iidha kan ladayhim rafiq akhar hunaka. bisarahat , la yahtamu alkthyr min alnnas bhdha aljuz' min durus alttarikh ladayna. 'ana mtakd min 'anana natalaqaa drsana qsyrana kl eam , faqat liltadhkir , lakunh mithl hadath sadim fi hayatik. 'ant la tasadaq 'aw tatakhial abdana 'anah sayahduth laka. lakunaha faealta. 'iily.

mundh dhlk alyawm , kanat hayati maliyat bialtaqalubat walmuneatifata. alkalimat alty qilat min dhlk alfumu aljamil jaealtani 'arghab fi aqtilae qalbi min sadari. kan al'alam la yutaq walam yakun ladaya 'ayu fikrat eamaa yjb 'an 'afealah baed dhalik. hal hdha ma yasheur bih aljamiea? hal hdha ma tasheur bih eindama la yuriduk rafiquk? kunt 'aerif 'ana alsuwal al'akhir lm yakun shyhana. laqad qalat alkthyr binafsiha lidarajat 'anaha trydni. 'aradat rafiq. laqad wadaeatha fi zawiat wa'ajbaratha emlyana ealaa rafdi. 'akhbaratha 'anani 'ahbabt shkhsana akhar , hataa 'anaha 'azharat li kadamatiha min hayth khadieatha baed 'an altaqayna. likunani lm 'arghab fi alsamah laha bialrahila. kanat li walan yusmh li'ahad bi'akhdhiha mini.

nzrt wara'ayatuha ealaa rakbatayha. laqad 'adaraha tathir rubatina almaksur biqadr ma 'asabani , lakanaha lm taeud tanghamis fi einayha. bimujrid 'ana hada al'alm , waqafat shamikhatan wafukhuratu. "ana asif , 'alfaan , lakunak lm tuetani 'ayu khiarin. 'atamanaa 'an tajid alsaeadat alhaqiqiat walhabu maeaha ", hataa 'anaha lm tuefni min 'iilqa' nazrat thanyt qabl 'an tastadir wabada'at tabtaeid.

"la 'ahad yastatie 'an yuerafa."

"aeadhirnay?"

"la ahd yaerif ean hdha. tastamiru fi alqawl 'iinak lm tajid rafiquk hataa tafeal. sa'afeal alshay' dhath. hdha la yahduth fi 'ayi tasjil wala yumkinuk 'iikhbar 'ayi shakhs ".

karahat aistikhdam 'amr 'alfaan alkhasi bi , lakunani lm 'astatie 'iikhbar 'ayi shakhs birfdi. 'ana , 'alfa. HA! kan al'amr mthyrana lildahk wakul min 'aerafih sayuhawil alsakhriat min 'alfaan alqawii walqawii aldhy rafadah rifiquh. lm 'astatie alsamah bihuduth dhalik.

"baltabe , 'alfa" hayth wasalat alaibtieada. faj'at tawaqafat waistadrat , "lday sual wahid lak."

"ma hdha?"

"ma aldhy yumizuha? 'aeni 'anani fahimt 'anaha fi haqibatik wa'anaha aibnat baytanaan , lkn bikhilaf dhlk , madha? 'ant tarfud altaearuf eali watahabuni , ya rafiqak , bihayth yumkinuk 'an takun mae shakhs lm yuethar ealaa sharikih bed. lmadha?"

tama 'iieadati. lm 'akun 'aerif kayf 'ujib ealaa 'asyilatiha. kayf yumkinuni 'an 'akhbaraha 'anani waqaeat fi habiha balfel baynama kunaa qad altaqayna qabl 'ayam qalilat faqt? kunna fi alkhamst eashrat faqat , muezmna la yaltaqi bizumlayih 'illa baed dhlk bikthir. nazarat fi einiha wa'aetiatiha aibtisamat hazinati. astataet 'an 'araa aldumue bada'at tatasaqat maratan 'ukhraa walam yaseani 'iilaa 'an 'ahrae 'iilayha wa'amsahha beydana.

"nhan maziluna shabab. la naerif ma 'iidha kan hdha hqyqyana. satajid shkhsana akhar , 'aedik. sawf yajealunak 'akthar saeadatan miniy ".

"'ant la taerif dhalik. 'asharat baynana 'iilaa 'ana hdha hqyqy. 'alaa tasheur bialshurr? 'alaa tasheur baljdhb? "

laqad faealt dhlk , lakunaniy 'aradt 'an 'ankurhim bshdt wa'an 'aeud 'iilaa alfatat alty tarakatha fi sriri. likuni lm 'astatie tarak hdha almakhluq alrrayie huna , 'abki ealaa 'akhtayiy. laqad masahat bde dumue 'ukhraa min dumueiha thuma 'azlat ydy , "yjb 'an tadhhab. 'adhhab 'iilaa almanzil wala tatahadath ean hdha abdana li'ayi shakhsin. sawf tabqaa ealaa qayd alhaya. 'ant min rfudni ya may. 'iidha kan hunak 'ayu shay' , fa'ant 'aqwaa bkthyr mimaa yamnahuk alfadl lah ".

"wdaeana ya balyk."

shahadt eynaha alkhadra' fi albahr tughliqan thuma taftahan bbt' marat 'ukhraa qabl 'an tastadiara. laqad ghadarat dun kalimat 'ukhraa wafaqadat ealaa alfawr kula shay' eanha. shaeruha albaniu altawil alkhamriu , 'iitariha alnahif , aibtisamatuha aljamilata. 'ada'at alghurfat bimajrid 'an dakhalat maktab waliduha qabl thlatht 'ayaamin. kunt 'ahmaq li'anani lm 'arkud 'iilayha hiniha wahunak wa'atalib biha. walakun baed dhlk maratan 'ukhraa , kunt saghirat waghabiatun. lm 'akun 'arghab fi shay' 'akthar min 'an 'aleab mae min 'ajd.

limudat thlath sanawat , kunaaan nadhhab dhhabana w'iyabana mae almujamalat almushtarakat waka'ana shyyana lm yahduth baynna. wajad shaqiqaha al'asghar rafiqah wakan min almqrr 'an yusbih al'alf alqadim min majmueatihim bimujrid bilughih alttasieat eashra. kan ealay 'an 'aleab bishakl jayid li'ana majmueatina kanat jiran , lakanani lm 'arghab fi 'an 'atadhakar 'akbar khata fi hayati. li'akthar min eam , kunt 'asheur bi'alam alkhianat kl yawm tqrybana. lm 'aqbil rafdiha abdana , lakunaha aiftaradt 'anani qad faealt dhalik. rubama wajadat sadiqiha aldhy 'ahabaha , warubama la.

lkn fi yawm eyd miladiha alththamin eshr , aiktafayta. lm 'aead 'arghab fi karih nafsiin li'anani 'ajrahha. lm 'aead 'arghab fi alaintizar hataa 'atamakan min 'iilqa' nazrat khatifat ealayha fi almarat alqadimati. 'ana fi hajat 'iilyha. lm 'ahtam 'iidha 'aradat 'an takun maei 'am la. kanat li waqad sayimat min wujud shakhs akhar laha. sayimat min alam batniin wasadari. kan ealaya 'an 'araha wa'atlibaha. 'amam aljamie.

"antzar! lidha , 'abi , hal furidat bisimtik ealaa amk? "

"haha. la ya bunaya , lm 'afeal. 'iidha aistamaet , sa'ukhbiruk bibaqiat alqisati. hal turid samae albaqy? "

'awma alsaghir markus birasih biquat wantazir bieyun wasieat hataa 'anhi qisat kayf altaqina 'ana wawalidatuh. kan yushabihuha tmamana , mithl may. euyun khudiraa' dakinat washaer bani khumri. kan eumruh arbe sanawat faqat , lkn yumkinuni alqawl 'iinah sayuhawil altaelim min 'akhtayiy. kanat aibnat baytanaan bimathabat nur hayat abnay wajamie al'awlad alsighar fi majmueat 'asdiqayih aydana. laqad tusrifuu jmyeana kahamat laha walan yasmahuu laha abdana bifiel 'ayi shay' bimufradiha khwfana min taearudiha lil'adhaa. 'astatie 'an 'aqul 'iina markus 'ahbaha 'akthar min 'ukhtiha wahadha 'akhafini. 'iidha aintahaa biha al'amr 'iilaa 'an takun rafiqatah , fasawf yuadhiyha walan yakun hunak eawdat 'iilaa alwara'.

nazarat fi eaynayh watanahadat baynama 'akmal qisati , "lm 'atliq daewatan fi al'asl lihudur hafl eyd miladiha. laqad kunt shkhsana lm targhab fi ruyatih , walakun maratan 'ukhraa lm yakun ahd yaerif madina. ldhlk tamakun eamik liwukas min 'iiqnaeiin liruyat waldtk. bmjrd 'an dakhalat , astataet sham rayihatiha almaskarati. kanat fi kl makan walam 'astatieu 'iilaa alaistirkha' eindama aistanshaqatha. buhithat fi alghurfat bi'akmaliha wabimujrid 'ana ra'ayataha , earafat 'anani la 'astatie alaintizar baed alan. shaqaqat tariqiun nahwaha wasaqat kula shay' akhir. waqf alealam saknaan eindama wasalat 'iilaa hayth waqafat wabimujrad 'an ailtaqat 'aeyunana , aibtasamat liha. lakunaha lm tabtasim li marat 'ukhraa , wbdlaan min dhlk bada'at fi albika' ".

"lmadha ya 'aby?"

"hsnana , ya bunaya , laqad adhiatuha warafadatni. ma zalat lm tudrik 'anani lm 'aqbil dhlk , waetaqadt 'anani kunt hunak la'uedhib mashaeiraha ".

"lkunak lm takun kadhalka?"

"la lm 'akun kadhalik. alan , hal turid samae albaqi 'am 'anak satastamiru fi almuqataeat , alfawl alsuwdani? "

"anaa asif sidi."

"la bas ya sdyqi. alan 'ayn kunt? ah naem. kunt fi nashwat , munawamat min qibal rafiqati alhabibat , lkn baed dhlk ra'ayt dhybana akhar yadae dhiraeayh hawl khasriha wayaqbal riqbataha. laqad aintahaa al'amr balnsbt lay. kharaj dhibay walam yakun laday 'ayu saytarat ealaa ma sayahduth lilsabi. shakirat li'anaha kanat hunak wadafeath beydana ean altariq wabimujrid 'an lamasat wajhiun , aistaeadat alsaytaratu. kanat jamilatan bifustaniha al'akhdar washaeriha yatasaqat hawl katfiha ealaa shakl mawjatin. bimajrad 'an shaeart bialwakhz , earafat 'anani la 'astatie tarakaha tadhhab maratan 'ukhraa. 'umsakat biha min khasriha wasahibatha min makaniha. wadaeat 'anfi ealaa raqbatiha , wa'akhadhat 'atunafus fi kli juz' minha walam 'arghab fi alsamah laha bialrahil.

"alikhas bi."

"la."

"neam , 'ant milki walan 'atrikak tadhhab abdana. 'ana la 'aqbil rafdak ya habybti. 'ant ealiq maei alan wa'iilaa al'abad ".

tarajaeat waibtasamat mubtasimatan qadr almustatae , lkn ma wajadatih lm yakun alkhawf 'aw alghadbu. fi alwaqie , kanat tbtsm. dumueaha minsia. nasi sadiqha. kunaa nahn alathnyn faqat fi alealam. ainhanaa bialqurb min 'adhni wahamasat li , "jyd". eindama nazarat 'iilayha fi halat sadmat , kan ladayha talmih min al'adhaa fi einiha waearafat 'anaha kanat malakiun. kanat taelam 'anani malak laha walam yakun hunak eawdatu. tuzawijuna baed eamayn min dhlk alyawm thuma hamalna maeaka ya habat alfawl alsudanii alsaghirati. eindama kanat walidatik hamil , kanat ladayha ruyat wa'akhbaruha alshakhs aldhy badakhilaha ean nubu'at , lkn hadhih qisatan laylatan 'ukhraa. adhhab alan lilnawm qabl 'an tati walidatik 'iilaa huna wakalaana fi wurtatin.

"neim , 'aby" , qablat markus ealaa jabhatih wahu yatalawaa taht almala'ati. eindama nazar 'ily , qal alshay' alwahid aldhy ymkn 'an yuksir qalbiun fi dhalik alwaqt , "ln adhaa lura abdana. 'iinaha rafiqiun walan 'arfidaha abdana. 'alays kdhlk aby? "

"hsnana , banya. amul 'an hdha sahiha."

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